How to develop emotional intelligence in children

How to develop Emotional Intelligence in children

Emotional Intelligence in children, why is it important now than ever before? The times are unnerving. Parents are constantly wondering how to develop Emotional Intelligence in children?We, adults, are constantly under stress about something or the other, be it our career, our future, our kid’s career and future, the present scenario which is showing hardly any sign of improvement soon. Just think that if we are facing trouble in adjusting to this situation, how troublesome it can be for the kids for whom the entire world has turned upside down and they can’t figure out what’s going on.

The times are testing our emotional intelligence quite well. Emotional intelligence is the ability to find favourable ways of dealing with stressful situations and finding out positive coping mechanisms to understand, communicate and manage our own emotions. It allows us to face challenges and overcome conflicts in a much more effective way. Traits like empathy, respect, kindness, emotional awareness, self-awareness and social awareness are a part of it.

How to make your child emotionally Intelligent

How to develop Emotional Intelligence in children?

Considering the present scenario, it’s wise to introduce and promote emotional intelligence in your child. Here are certain ways by which you can make your child learn emotional intelligence:-

Model emotional intelligence and present an example:

Kids are very keen observers. Nothing escapes their curious eyes. So, the best way to teach them and get them in action is to get in the action yourself. You should practice emotional intelligence frequently so that the kids can learn and understand what and how emotional intelligence looks like.

Present them with a model of how to control their emotions. Make sure you constantly display empathy, compassion and self-awareness in your behaviour. The kids would follow suit.

Talking and labelling emotions for emotional intelligence:

Young kids need to know what they are feeling and what is it called. This is required so that they understand that when they are going through a particular feeling, what exactly they have to do to manage it healthily.

Introduce them to words like ‘angry’, ‘sad’, ‘upset’, ‘painful’, ‘annoyed’ while telling them about positive emotions as well. If the child looks happy, ask them, “ are you feeling happy/joyous/excited/hopeful?” Talk about your feelings while using the words of emotion. This would make them feel it’s natural and right to talk about feelings.

A family charter/guidelines to develop emotional intelligence:

It’s imperative to have family guidelines that all the members have to follow. The family charter about emotional intelligence addresses what do you, as a family want to feel, through what ways are you going to achieve that, how will the family constructively resolve the conflicts both among themselves and with the outside world?

Forming such charters can act as a go-to guide when things need taming. Your child should know you understand his feelings well. This would create joint accountability and instigate emotional intelligence in kids too.

How to make your child Emotionally Intelligent?

Positive coping skills in Emotional intelligence:

Dealing with complex emotions and sudden outbursts are one of the most important parts of emotional intelligence. At times, we parents also fail this process. We need to teach the kids what to do to cope up with anger, disappointment and grief.

Taking deep breaths, asking them to talk when they feel their anger has receded can help them calm themselves once they have affirmed their emotions. You can help them create a joy box which comprises their favourite books, toys, attractive looking stuff that would relax them in times of need.

Problem analysis and solving for emotional intelligence:

After understanding that there is some problem, it’s crucial to analyse the issue. Why did it happen? What was the cause and what are the consequences? What could I have done better to avoid the problem? Make your kids ask these questions to themselves and delve into the problem.

You can ask them to give some solutions they that are best suited to overcome the issue. Then you can discuss the pros and cons of each solution and choose the one best suited. This would develop the requires problem-solving skills in them. Always remember, emotional intelligence is a process and it would develop in the child gradually.

Validate their feelings and reward good emotional intelligence:

If at all you see glimpses of budding emotional intelligence in your child, it’s always a good idea to reward them. This would motivate them to do those actions continuously which would become their nature in the long run.

You can also use their mistakes as a chance for improvement. Once they realise their mistake, you can ask them how can they do better in the future and ask them to follow that. Look out for the positives, see when they are empathetic, compassionate and display good emotional balance and validate them.


One can evaluate emotional intelligence as a measure of Emotional quotient (EQ). High emotional intelligence in children ensures they have high intelligence (IQ) as well. The kids equipped with these skills can make better connections with people around them, understand and adapt to their surroundings well and do well in their life in terms of academics too.

With the current apocalyptic situation, it can be a great avenue to introduce the kids with emotional intelligence as you would get plenty of situations and examples where they would be able to practically evolve and train at acknowledging their emotions in a much more structured way.

Penned by:

Mayura Amarkant

©MayuraAmarkant. This article is the property of DiaryOfAnInsaneWriter. Any unauthorized use or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Mayura Amarkant (DiaryOfAnInsaneWriter). With the right and specific direction to the original content.

This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla and sponsored by Queen’s Brigade


  1. Oh, this is the second post I read about emotional intelligence in kids today. But certainly at these testing times should be talked about. You have explained it so well and your tips are relative and practical.. Thanks for sharing


  2. This is the second post I read on emotional intelligence in kids during these pandemic times. This implies how important the parents feel that developing emotional intelligence has become. Your post is also very detailed and makes excellent points.


  3. I have read two post on emotional intelligence today and both are so good. I agree that we need to work on and nurture our kids emotional intelligence. Learned so many good and useful things from this article.


  4. In such times where parents and kids both have lost themselves in a way or other, your post comes as a rescuer. It is important to develop EQ in kids and that is true.


  5. A few years back, people would not have used Emotional Intelligence and kids in the same sentence. But it is important now more than ever due to the pandemic. I am not a parent but I am sure this would be useful for all the parents out there.


  6. This is the second post Iam reading on Emotional Intelligence in the recent time. Very well articulated. A very apt topic for the current times.Especially agree that we must inculcate coping habits and identifying & analyzing a problem to understand it. Iam sure it will help kids in these uncertain times when they are isolated from friends and hear so much about death etc.


  7. Reading second post on Emotional Intelligence and it only makes me happy seeing that conversations are happening around this much needed topic. All the points are valid and very important especially in the current scenario. Validating their feelings is like applying an ointment to a bruise and I try to do it every time. Thank you.


  8. This is the second post I have read today about emotional intelligence. I feel that we should let the child be instead of putting such a lot of pressure on them. And not force our dreams on the child. This would take care of half the issues.


  9. Ah, I noticed that Suhasini has also written about EI this week.

    I’ve made a note of all your suggestions and I’ll try to implement them. I have limited patience and tend to lose my temper when my child is constantly whining.

    He’s now fully frustrated about having to wear a mask, constantly wash his hands, stay at home, and listen to adults talking about covid-19 most of the time.


  10. Knowing and understanding our feelings is so important and often parents work on it. But with the pandemic hitting us over and over again, all that is going in vain. It is so difficult to teach little minds about this and keep them in practice. Loved the pointers you have mentioned. I also use art and music as steps for healing…


  11. Quite a timely topic during current situation. It will help the parents to know how to deal with their kids’ emotional and mental well-being. Will refer to my colleagues as they’re so worried about their kids.


  12. The pandemic has really taken a toll on the kids. Even I am going through a lot of stress and anxiety. EQ is the need of the hour and as you have rightly listed out, it starts at home and parents have to lead by example.


  13. It is very important to develop children emotionally intelligent and nourish their souls with vivid knowledge. This article is very insightful . Thanks for sharing


  14. Hey, coincidentally, even I wrote a post on how to develop EI in Kids. I am conducting a EI course for the kids along with MEQ and wrote my post for that purpose only, which is present in the same linky party. 😅 Thank you for covering all the important points.


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