Toxic mothers are a reality and they put their children through unimagined pain – every single day of their lives. Bad mothers live to cause pain and heartache to their children and Mother’s Day is like a slap on the face of every child who has a toxic mother.
Mothers are the most overrated roles in society today – the role is so over-exaggerated that any child with a toxic mother is unable to express their hatred towards the mother.
How can a person hate their mother? How can a mother hate her own child? Can a mother really be toxic towards her own kids? Well, this is the best-kept secret of modern times. No one wants to talk about it. No one will admit that they have a toxic mother. The fear of being shunned and abandoned by society is so great that it’s always best to hide one’s sorrow under the garb of happiness or a fake smile.
In order that the world realises that that toxic mothers are a reality and they do exist, I decided to curate this post that contains some of the most toxic mothers I have read about.
Kunti: The mother who let go of her first son and later took away the sacred armour he was born with.
According to several versions of the Mahabharata, Kunti is depicted as shrewd and calculative. Early in her life, she rejects her son born out of wedlock (Karna) in societal fear, only to confess to him several years later, in solitude, that she birthed him.
She tries to have him shift parties out of fear of losing her five sons. After the war, Kunti disclosed the secret of Karna’s birth to Pandavas and others. All were shocked to learn the fact they committed fratricide. The Pandavas were furious with Kunti, especially Yudhisthira, who cursed Kunti and women of the world that they shall be unable to keep any secret anymore. If Kunti hadn’t kept it a secret, the war would’ve been averted and millions of lives would’ve been spared.
Kaikeyi: A Mother who caused the death of her husband due to her selfish love for her son Bharat who disowns her when he learns about the truth of Ram’s exile.
According to the epic, Ramayana, Kaikeyi was the youngest of King Dasaratha’s three wives. She was the mother of Bharata. Once, during a fierce battle, Dasaratha’s chariot wheel broke. At that moment of distress, Kaikeyi was with Dasarath. She helped Dasarath by fixing the wheel of the chariot. She nursed the wounded King back to health. Pleased by her courage and care, Dasharath offered her two boons. However, Kaikeyi chose to ask for those boons later.
Kaikeyi was a bit insecure as she was the youngest of the three queens. Kaikeyi’s maid Manthara suggested her to increase her status by making Bharata the King instead of Ram, which will make Kaikeyi the queen mother. She also convinced Kaikeyi to ask for the exile for Ram. Just before the crowning ceremony of Ram, Kaikeyi asked Dasarath for the two boons. Kaikeyi asked king Dasahrath to make her son Bharat the king of Ayodhya, and for second boon she asked Rama’s exile from Ayodhya for fourteen years. King Dasarath granted her the boons keeping his promise, but he died of a broken heart as he was separated from his son Rama. Kaikeyi regretted her actions, and she blamed herself for Dasharath’s death. Her son Bharat blamed her and said that he would never call her ‘mother’ again.
Herodias: A mother who teamed with her daughter to plot the death of the Jewish Prophet, John The Baptist
According to the Bible, Herodias was the wife of Herod’s brother and was an adulterer (Matthew 14:3-4). She influenced her daughter Salome to do wickedness. They teamed together to have Herod kill John the Baptist. In the Gospels of Matthew and Mark, Herodias plays a major role in John the Baptist’s execution, using her daughter’s dance before Antipas and his party guests to ask for the head of the Baptist as a reward.
Together with Salome, Herodias was a frequent subject in images of the Power of Women topics in the later medieval and Renaissance period. The most common moment shown including Herodias is the Feast of Herod, showing Salome presenting John’s severed head on a platter as Herodias dines with her husband and others.
Days like Mother’s Day rub wounds on the sores of any person who has a strained relationship with their mother. Social media just adds to the angst and sorrow. There is an avalanche of posts on how great mothers are and one is left licking their own wounds and hiding them behind a fake smile.
Through this post, I urge you to be sensitive around your friends, you never know about the sorrow that they may be hiding behind their smile. Just send a hug to any friend who hasn’t uploaded anything about Mother’s Day – he/she will understand what you mean.
If you have a toxic mother and are reading this post, I urge you to look around you and count your other blessings. Even if your mother is mean to you or doesn’t love you, you can invest your time in being thankful for the other blessings you have in your life. You will experience an instant mood lift.
Warm hugs to all those who have a toxic mother. May the Lord restore you with his healing touch.