Out of a clutter of social media messages surrounding the untimely and sad demise of Sushant Singh Rajput, here’s one that touched my heart because of the sheer honesty with which Ashwini Naik wrote it.
Related read: What the Nation Needs to Know about Arnab Goswami’s arrest.
Reproducing the heartfelt piece with the author’s permission:
9 things you need to Ask Yourself before commenting on Sushant Singh Rajput’s sad demise | Guest Post |Ashvini Naik
It has pained me so much that it’s been 2 days that I have done nothing productive, except from the regular chores at home. Neither have I slept peacefully. I wasn’t his follower on any social media, but I’ve loved him like anything after MSD & Chichhore. PK didn’t deserve him for a silly role though. More than the fact that he’s dead & we won’t get any more movies from him, it is traumatic to digest that those who abetted him into this are still roaming guilt-free. It feels like a personal loss. I had thought I had grieved no celebrity’s death like the way I did for MJ, but this has hurt me the most till date.
To every contact who’s ‘condoling’ SSR’s death with fancy TikTok clips with ‘cry’ emojis (sic), templated ‘RIP’ messages & posting preposterous “Why did you do this?”, “Why did you not speak up?” & “Why did you give up?” WhatsApp & Instagram statuses…
Ask Yourself:
“Did I never hide that ’embarrassing’ or ‘dark’ secret of my life from everyone fearing judgement?”
To every one who is determined to project him as the brand ambassador for clinical depression by delivering GYAAN on “mental health” & saying things like, “Depression is real”
Ask Yourself:
“Did I NEVER trivialize the sentence, “Isse tho achcha hai, main SUICIDE kar lun” “Suicide would be anytime better than all this mess”)?
First, do you even know what DEPRESSION feels like? (Because even I do not. What little I know is only from friends who experienced it or were caregivers to those suffering from it)
To every celebrity who apparently never considered him also as one, let alone include him in his/her troupe & is now tweeting about how ‘devastated/shocked/sorry’ s(h)e is feeling for him…
Ask Yourself:
If you let him slip into, apparently such a lonely phase. To those who are hell bent on stereotyping SUICIDE as an act of ‘Cowardice’ or ‘mental weakness’…
Ask Yourself:
“Isn’t it more difficult & scary to suffocate/break/mutilate yourself over a ‘tiny’ grief that can be solved otherwise?”
To the media houses shoving their mikes into the late actor’s father’s mouth & airing images & clips of his mortal remains on loop with flashy tickers for the sake of tall TRPs…
Ask Yourself:
“Are we humans for real?”
To those Bollywood columns trying their best to drag his past girlfriends into his death…
Ask Yourself:
“How can we suppress our perversion levels?”
To the celebs who are immediately rolling out videos on why ‘parents & children should have a good bonding’ to prevent suicide/depression….
Ask Yourself:
“How do I know if the person who died wasn’t close enough with his parents/family?”
To those who hate Deepika Padukone (for any reasons; well, I’ve never been her fan either!), & leave no opportunity to call her mental health/Depression awareness campaigns or organization as a ‘PR activity’…
Ask Yourself:
“How can I be so blinded by prejudice & insensitivity?”
To all those who are confidently dubbing his death as a ‘SUICIDE’…
Ask Yourself:
“How am I so sure?”
To those who are posting statuses like. “If you ever feel depressed or low, PLEASE text or call me. I’ll always listen to you.”
Ask Yourself:
“Did I never avoid an old friend’s call/repeated texts even on my birthday, just because I didn’t have the TIME to speak for hours that would follow (let alone know what’s happening in his/her life)?”
YES. We all have our own struggles & pace of life with priorities.
It’s hard to inquire into every friend or relative’s life problems.
But it becomes utterly wrong & unethical when you think they are:
Overthinking
Overreacting
Too sensitive
Weak in the mind(even when you care for them)
When they’re sharing a problem with you & explaining why it’s disturbing them so much. The magnitude of their trouble may seem minuscule to you but it may be layered intricately. Almost like a labyrinth. They try to acknowledge that they have a problem, and the next thing they do isn’t allowing them to.
A friend who suffered from clinical depression once described it to me after having been successfully treated by a therapist. She said, “Depression is like being in that tiny & suffocating metallic cage with grills locked on its own. Your well-wishers & family can see you get smothered & distressed & really try to help you come out of it somehow. But the lock!
No matter what copious amounts of sympathy & concern your well-wishers have for you, they often cannot break the cage open & free you from it.
The only locksmiths we know of here are therapists/ counsellors/ psychiatrists. That’s apparently the only way to cure any mental distress. So context, if you say things like – meditation & Pranayama helps, socialize more, talk to a friend, call up your parents… it
doesn’t help always, really.
To those of you who say after a person commits suicide about how “You should have thought once about how your parents will feel after knowing that you’re dead or seeing your corpse.”
Apparently, a ‘depressed’ person is already burdened with his/her trauma & has exhausted the patience to foresee what his family will feel after his death.
And at the cost of sounding crude, if you say something like:
“Abey, kya ladkiyon jaise ro raha hai. Mard ban.”
“Humare life me problems nahi hote kya? Tho hum kya rote rahe tere jaise?”
“Phir se tera dukhda shuru ho gaya?”
“Arre, itna/itni senti mat ban.”
You need to re-evaluate your understanding of the “mental health” you’re busy talking about, probably because the hashtags are trending.
CTA: If you feel that your friend/relative is ‘depressed’, please convince his family/him/her to see a therapist.
Guest Post written ‘Dil Se’ by:
Ashvini Naik
P.S: Ashvini Naik is blogger, Yoga and fitness enthusiast. She blogs at FitBeWell.com
Disclaimer: The ideas, suggestions and opinions in this piece solely belong to Ashvini Naik. We have reproduced the piece with permission from Ashvini’s Facebook wall. Any dispute claims on the content will be solely directed towards Ashvini Naik. DiaryOfAnInsaneWriter holds no claim or ownership on the above content.
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