9 things you need to Ask Yourself before commenting on Sushant Singh Rajput’s sad demise | Guest Post |Ashvini Naik

Out of a clutter of social media messages surrounding the untimely and sad demise of Sushant Singh Rajput, here’s one that touched my heart because of the sheer honesty with which Ashwini Naik wrote it.

Related read: What the Nation Needs to Know about Arnab Goswami’s arrest.

Reproducing the heartfelt piece with the author’s permission:

9 things you need to Ask Yourself before commenting on Sushant Singh Rajput’s sad demise | Guest Post |Ashvini Naik

My secrets to weight loss and health transformation

It has pained me so much that it’s been 2 days that I have done nothing productive, except from the regular chores at home. Neither have I slept peacefully. I wasn’t his follower on any social media, but I’ve loved him like anything after MSD & Chichhore. PK didn’t deserve him for a silly role though. More than the fact that he’s dead & we won’t get any more movies from him, it is traumatic to digest that those who abetted him into this are still roaming guilt-free. It feels like a personal loss. I had thought I had grieved no celebrity’s death like the way I did for MJ, but this has hurt me the most till date.

To every contact who’s ‘condoling’ SSR’s death with fancy TikTok clips with ‘cry’ emojis (sic), templated ‘RIP’ messages & posting preposterous “Why did you do this?”, “Why did you not speak up?” & “Why did you give up?” WhatsApp & Instagram statuses…

Ask Yourself:

“Did I never hide that ’embarrassing’ or ‘dark’ secret of my life from everyone fearing judgement?”

To every one who is determined to project him as the brand ambassador for clinical depression by delivering GYAAN on “mental health” & saying things like, “Depression is real”

Ask Yourself:

“Did I NEVER trivialize the sentence, “Isse tho achcha hai, main SUICIDE kar lun” “Suicide would be anytime better than all this mess”)?

First, do you even know what DEPRESSION feels like? (Because even I do not. What little I know is only from friends who experienced it or were caregivers to those suffering from it)

To every celebrity who apparently never considered him also as one, let alone include him in his/her troupe & is now tweeting about how ‘devastated/shocked/sorry’ s(h)e is feeling for him…

Ask Yourself:

If you let him slip into, apparently such a lonely phase. To those who are hell bent on stereotyping SUICIDE as an act of  ‘Cowardice’ or ‘mental weakness’…

Ask Yourself:

“Isn’t it more difficult & scary to suffocate/break/mutilate yourself over a ‘tiny’ grief that can be solved otherwise?”

To the media houses shoving their mikes into the late actor’s father’s mouth & airing images & clips of his mortal remains on loop with flashy tickers for the sake of tall TRPs…

Ask Yourself:

“Are we humans for real?”

To those Bollywood columns trying their best to drag his past girlfriends into his death…

Ask Yourself:

“How can we suppress our perversion levels?”

To the celebs who are immediately rolling out videos on why ‘parents & children should have a good bonding’ to prevent suicide/depression….

Ashvini

Ask Yourself:

“How do I know if the person who died wasn’t close enough with his parents/family?”
To those who hate Deepika Padukone (for any reasons; well, I’ve never been her fan either!), & leave no opportunity to call her mental health/Depression awareness campaigns or organization as a ‘PR activity’…

Ask Yourself:

“How can I be so blinded by prejudice & insensitivity?”

To all those who are confidently dubbing his death as a ‘SUICIDE’…

Ask Yourself:

“How am I so sure?”

To those who are posting statuses like. “If you ever feel depressed or low, PLEASE text or call me. I’ll always listen to you.”

Ask Yourself:

“Did I never avoid an old friend’s call/repeated texts even on my birthday, just because I didn’t have the TIME to speak for hours that would follow (let alone know what’s happening in his/her life)?”

YES. We all have our own struggles & pace of life with priorities.

It’s hard to inquire into every friend or relative’s life problems.

But it becomes utterly wrong & unethical when you think they are:

Overthinking
 Overreacting
Too sensitive
Weak in the mind

(even when you care for them)

When they’re sharing a problem with you & explaining why it’s disturbing them so much. The magnitude of their trouble may seem minuscule to you but it may be layered intricately. Almost like a labyrinth. They try to acknowledge that they have a problem, and the next thing they do isn’t allowing them to.

A friend who suffered from clinical depression once described it to me after having been successfully treated by a therapist. She said, “Depression is like being in that tiny & suffocating metallic cage with grills locked on its own. Your well-wishers & family can see you get smothered & distressed & really try to help you come out of it somehow. But the lock!

No matter what copious amounts of sympathy & concern your well-wishers have for you, they often cannot break the cage open & free you from it.

The only locksmiths we know of here are therapists/ counsellors/ psychiatrists. That’s apparently the only way to cure any mental distress. So context, if you say things like – meditation & Pranayama helps, socialize more, talk to a friend, call up your parents… it
doesn’t help always, really.

To those of you who say after a person commits suicide about how “You should have thought once about how your parents will feel after knowing that you’re dead or seeing your corpse.”

Apparently, a ‘depressed’ person is already burdened with his/her trauma & has exhausted the patience to foresee what his family will feel after his death.

And at the cost of sounding crude, if you say something like:

“Abey, kya ladkiyon jaise ro raha hai. Mard ban.”

“Humare life me problems nahi hote kya? Tho hum kya rote rahe tere jaise?”

“Phir se tera dukhda shuru ho gaya?”

“Arre, itna/itni senti mat ban.”

You need to re-evaluate your understanding of the “mental health” you’re busy talking about, probably because the hashtags are trending.

CTA: If you feel that your friend/relative is ‘depressed’, please convince his family/him/her to see a therapist.

Guest Post written ‘Dil Se’ by:

Ashvini Naik

P.S: Ashvini Naik is blogger, Yoga and fitness enthusiast. She blogs at FitBeWell.com

Disclaimer: The ideas, suggestions and opinions in this piece solely belong to Ashvini Naik. We have reproduced the piece with permission from Ashvini’s Facebook wall. Any dispute claims on the content will be solely directed towards Ashvini Naik. DiaryOfAnInsaneWriter holds no claim or ownership on the above content. 

24 comments

  1. This was a wakeup call for many of us, his demise hit us close to our heart. I think, this year has been extremely difficult for many of us, and being a support system for each other is the least we can do in these times.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ashvini and my paths cross yet again! I love how she writes and so effortlessly. What a lovely blog post. It does make sense. We are so easy to judge others. It’s a gentle reminder that we must NOT, cause no one knows our each other’s journey!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is such a thought provoking article. It is time we should introspect ourselves and question more. His death was very tragic and has created a national impact.

    Like

  4. This guest post brings up some very valid questions and I like the honesty and the pointedness with which she is asking these questions! it is indeed very easy to get swept along in this media Storm and that too without knowing the truth

    Like

  5. This is the harsh truth . I am glad that penned down all these facts. You know I have doubt on Indian judicial system now . And bollywood is the worst,scary dark night kind ..

    Like

  6. I’ve been following Ashvini’s tweets about Sushant and know how much invested she has been in the investigations around his untimely sad demise. We trivialise depression and assume too much. It’s normal and should be treated like any other ailment.

    Like

  7. AShivini you have hit the bullseye. Indeed when SSR died there were many people including me who believed in the suicide and mental illness reasoning but yes we take mental well being so casually. Depression is an immensely misused and wrongly used word.

    Like

  8. This is such a heartfelt post by Ashvini. I could feel her words and she has raised some very valid points. I have seen people saying such things casually and their only fault is unawareness. People need more awareness about mental illness.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. There is a potentially different cause of death than the one advertised according to certain post mortem reports.Mental health needs professional consultation and family support.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. We Indian are very judgemental and loaded with advice. And nowadays we get personal without thinking that it can adversely affect someone. people are pulling each other down that’s so disgusting.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Right! It is very easy to question anybody on depression and anxiety issues. We don’t know, what did happen, who is the culprit? I am glad now the case in the CBI hand. Now the truth will come in front of us.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Ashwini has wriiten exactly what I had felt after this sad tragedy. this is really sad and unfortunate aspect of our society where people are always ready to share their no wanted “Gyan” on each matter. they never left a chance to judge other people ( even the dead one) without knowing their exact situation. I am glad that Aswini had pointed out all these important aspects..may be this help in people re-thinking about their judgmental behavior.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I am speechless. Such a mindful post. Seriously these questions should be answered. We need to be more empathetic and sensitive towards all of these. Stop being judgemental, everyone has their own story and pains.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. It is so true that we know little about mental health or depression. Personally, though I have come across many social media posts on how I could help someone who was depressed, when the time came, nothing I did mattered to my friend. It took a while for me to make peace with myself about it, the fact that not all of us can be therapists. Sushant’s death was tragic, and we don’t have the right to comment on it in the manner as told by Ashvini. We don’t have the right to say anything about it having known so little.

    Liked by 1 person

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