No WhatsApp

Dear WhatsApp, Let’s break-up…

My thoughts, Technology 23 comments

Dear WhatsApp,

Its been a while since I saw the orange sky in the morning. Thanks to you, I get to see the sun in a barrage of good morning messages.

Morning on the bed Whats App
Every morning, you buzz with messages. When do I take out time to watch the sunrise?

I don’t remember the last time when I did my Kardarshan prayers. My morning begins with your darshan and my day ends with staring at you.

Kardarshan – Morning Prayer
New Age Kardarshan

WhatsApp, I don’t remember when I stretched out my arms and touched nothing. Every time I stretch, its only to check whether you have a new message for me.

WhatsApp man stretching arms sunrise
My hands are never empty. Only because of you, my stretches are incomplete.

You have divided my friends into groups and sub-groups. I have the same friends in multiple groups and all of the groups have similar forwarded messages. To top it, I don’t even remember half the people in my school groups. I am part of family groups – less said the better.

So many groups – so many conversations
So many Groups & Sub Groups – Uff

Thanks to you, I cannot attend a party, event or any function or even eat without updating you with a story. That is because, if I don’t, then the event never happened.

Share with your contacts WhatsApp status
I have to live up to the expectations of my contacts. Updating the status is mandatory. Why????

Why WhatsApp, WHY have you made me a slave to  your awesomeness?

What makes you so Awesome
So many amazing features…. Why? Why? Why?

All my clients love using you. Screenshots of conversations are saved as proof. I have client groups and internal groups – thanks to you. Each time you buzz, I shudder to think what new bomb is going to explode on the work group. You have made me a scared and insecure person, WhatsApp – I hate you.

Screenshots saved
There are two sides of every story

I am done. I don’t want to be with you anymore. You are the biggest time waster that has ever been created. Never ever do I want to see you on my phone again. Completely tired of your constant buzzing.

No WhatsApp
That’s it! I am breaking up with you

The other day, when your servers were down, I went completely crazy. Couldn’t understand why you would do something like this to me? Do you even know how it is to live without seeing you every 2 minutes?

Let’s break-up WhatsApp. Please. Just go away from my life. I don’t need you. Love for you is addictive and harming my peace. Let’s end this relationship NOW.

No WhatsApp
Let’s break-up and write a WhatsApp status message about it. Should I put a video as well?

(1 hour later)

Just reinstalled. Couldn’t survive. 

I LOVE YOU!

I love you WhatsApp
I love you – very much

 

Penned by:

Mayura Amarkant

“This post is written as a part of the #AlexaTheIncredible campaign hosted by #womenbloggerwb”

This is my 22nd post in the Dil Se series. Click here to read the rest. Alternatively, you can see the list below:

  1. Stages of Love: As told to my pre-teen (Valentine’s Day special)
  2. #HowSafeAreYou: We worry all the time, are we well prepared?
  3. Celebrating Womanhood at Lokmat Sakhi
  4. Tight slap to private Doctors & request Modi ji & Fadnavis Sir.
  5. Theatre & Film Industry pay tribute to legendary actor, Padmashri Om Puri OBE
  6. “Oscar winner, A R Rahman is his own competition” says Director, Suparna Chakravarty
  7. Heal yourself in 2017 with Chakra Healer – Kareena Punjabi
  8. This Secret Santa made my blog come alive…
  9. My husband & I are incompatible – Is my marriage successful?
  10. ANGELS’ PREDICT 2017 for YOUR SUN SIGN through Roshani Shenazz
  11. Guest Blog: Bad Moms- 5 Lessons for every woman
  12. How do you want to die?
  13. Homemakers & HR managers are in the same boat
  14. 7 life lessons from breast cancer survivor, Umaima Tinwala
  15. Marathi nostalgia with a contemporary twist
  16. Celebrating Womanhood…the VIBHA SINGH way…
  17. The LIKE trap…
  18. 5 things I do every morning.
  19. We won the best award in the whole world!
  20. Aunty mat kaho na…
  21. From one dreamer to another…

23 comments

  1. The title caught my attention, and as I read along found it even more interesting but was disappointed with the ending. I thought alas there is someone who is in same leagues as me (uninstalled and deleted WhatsApp account for over a year now)
    Great post though.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  4. Haha.. this was a hilarious post. I was gaping at the number of groups you’re a member of Mayura, Gosh that must be something huh. That’s the reason I have only very, very limited groups. I agree I cannot do away with Whatsapp, not because of addiction, but I find it extremely convenient in keeping in touch as m hardly a calling-person, but more of a messaging-person. So, whatsapp saves me a lotta times. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  5. WoW for sure it’s such a huge challenge. I would call you a voyeur and immediately after you wrote it, we experienced an ugliness shared by many on whatsapp reeking with lies on a public figure. It has dehumanized us in a way. You pen has so much power, humility and voice of reason.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. I have been wanting to do this since a while now but havn’t mustered the courage to.. What has worked for me is switching off the notifications – all of them. If someone needs something urgent I’m sure they can and will call..(most of my friends know that I don’t check WhatsApp frequently) everything else can wait :).

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  7. You know what max I had a breakup with my whats app was 2 hours when I used to do my daily natural work…but sometimes I really feel I need to break up from whatsapp and FB too but can’t do!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
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  11. Mayura this was hilariously beautiful. I totally agree that its hard to stay away even if we know we are missing out on so many things… And all those groups. OMG! How do you manage?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  13. After reading The incomplete kiss, now Im a fan of your blog..a dedicated reader 🙂
    the flow is amazing..and so nicely written it is. The harsh reality of our life. And the client part is same for me also 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  14. You have so perfectly depicted the lives of people today and their addiction to social media, especially Whatsapp! Occasionally i do love doing a detox from it all and believe me it usually is the toughest time…but sometimes it is needed.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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